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For 15 years, I interviewed hundreds of business owners and their parents to learn how they were raised.
In general, these families are very happy with the results of their children. Parents say their older children are not only successful and financially successfulbut generous and kind. But looking back now, many of the parents told me that there were several things they wish they had known while their the children were growing up.
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These are not the same as your regrets. Still, parents told me that, with this knowledge, they could have focused on different things or stressed less about what the bright future of their children would be.
These are the four things they would tell themselves when they were young parents.
1. ‘Don’t panic if they don’t finish university’
Most parents I spoke to believed that a college degree was essential to a successful career.
Entrepreneur Matt Mullenweg, founder of WordPress, launched the company when he was a student at the University of Houston and dropped out to run it. Today, WordPress is just one part of Automattic, the global software company led by Mullenweg.
Thomas Vu’s parents wanted him to be a doctor. Instead, Vu left UC San Diego to join the first class of interns at Electronic Arts. He went on to become the lead producer of League of Legends, chief creative officer of Riot Games, and executive producer of the Emmy-nominated hit show “Arcane.”
In retrospect, they say they didn’t have to worry so much. your children did not earn a degreebut in the end, it didn’t matter. They pursued and achieved their dreams, and their skill, dedication and conviction were more than enough.
2. ‘Your passion is not a distraction; It may have more impact than you think.
Acclaimed director Jon Chu’s parents told me that, even at age 10, he was passionate about telling stories and making movies. They worried that their passion might be a distraction from real work and responsibilities. But it’s hard to argue with him international box office hit from Chu’s most recent film, “Wicked.”
They now realize that Chu putting in those 10,000 hours doing what he loved and what he was good at was worth it. Many of the parents I interviewed feel the same way. They recognize that their children’s passion helped them succeed in their careers, even if their children’s lives are not as they had imagined.
Many future businessmen practiced sports intensively and none became professionals. Their parents told me they were worried that all the time their children spent on the playing field instead of in the classroom was a waste of time.
Eric Ryan, the founder of Method, Olly and Welly, told me he was a terrible student, but he loved sailing. There he learned valuable skills such as resiliencecourage, perseverance and confidence, all of which made him the entrepreneur he is today. His parents didn’t have to worry that all his hours in the water would impede professional success, quite the opposite.
3. “Be more open about money”
Many of these entrepreneurs and leaders credited their parents for teaching them the value of a dollar. That’s why I was surprised when many parents said they wish they had been more open about their own family finances and used them better as a teaching tool.
Some parents told me they wish they had involved their children in making financial decisions, whether it was budgeting, purchasing large items like a car, or investing in the stock market. Others told me they wish their children had opened a bank account or gotten a credit card in high school.
For example, they wish they had been more direct when they bought a new car, discussing leasing versus buying, the cost of a car, and the trade-offs with other things they want. They believe that teach your children to spend money It would have helped when they started their companies.
4. ‘He enthusiastically celebrates both his failures and his successes’
Many parents of highly successful adults I spoke to said they were careful not to scold or punish their children when they failed. However, many also told me they wish they had gone a step further.
Parents wish they had known celebrate failures as much as successes, because they realized that you only take the kind of creative risks that lead to innovation if you understand that failure is the way to learn and grow, and that your defeat should be the fuel for your next success. .
They saw that their children’s failures were more important to their development than their easy triumphs.
This is something I would also tell myself as a young parent. Now, I often return to Billie Jean King’s mantra and share it with my own older children: “It’s not failure, it’s feedback.“
Margot Machol Bisnow She is a writer, mother, and parenting expert. She spent 20 years in government, including as an FTC commissioner and chief of staff of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, and for the past 10 years she has spoken to parenting groups about how to raise fearless, creative, confident, resilient and enterprising children, full of of joy and purpose, and is the author of “Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams.” Follow her on Instagram @margotbisnow.
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