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When we imagine the spoiled children, many of us think of tantrums for not getting what they want, having to follow the rules or have to deal with any type of inconvenience.
But spoiled behavior is not just about right Or the parents that are assigned: these are unattered emotional needs, inconsistent limits and lack of connection.
As Conscious breeding researcher And coach, I have studied more than 200 children, and I have discovered that spoiled behavior can sometimes indicate unsatisfied needs. These are the five signs of highly spoiled children, and how parents can try to undo this behavior:
1. They fight with listening ‘no’
A child can reject the rules not because they are difficult, but because the unclear limits feel confusing and frustrating. If the rules feel unpredictable, or if a child feels helpless in the decisions that affect them, they can act to recover a sense of control.
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Advice for parents: Instead of simply saying “no” and move on, recognize their feelings: “I see that you are upset because you want to continue playing, but it’s time to go to bed now.” The limits established with kindness teach that the rules are not about control: it is about trust and security.
2. They constantly seek attention
When children demand constant attention, it often points out emotional disconnection or uncertainty about their place in the family. A child who does not feel safe in his bond can ask for more: more time, more validation, more tranquility.
For example, a child who always interrupts or clings to a father in social environments is not necessarily in need, but is not sure of its importance when the approach is not in them.
Advice for parents: Put next to 10 to 20 minutes of connection not distracted every day. The longer, the better. Play, talk or simply be present with your child. Use these moments, tell them: “You are enough.”
When children feel emotionally safe, their need for constant validation fades.
3. They have tantrums to get what they want
The tantrums are not manipulation, they are a cry of help. Children in Meltdown mode are usually overwhelmed and lack the skills to process great emotions.
Often, it happens because a child feels unheard of when their emotions are fired, helpless when they have no voice, or overestimulate for too much noise, activity or change.
Advice for parents: Keep calm, validate your feelings (“I see that you are really frustrated”) and offer comfort (“I’m here with you until you feel better”). Children learn emotional regulation through connection, not control.
4. They resist responsibility
A child who refuses to clean, avoids the task or gives up easily not difficult or lazy. Instead, they may have been protected from challenges too often or, on the other hand, pushed independence before feeling ready.
Advice for parents: Offer appropriate collaboration responsibilities. Cook together or solve small problems such as equipment. Remember to celebrate your efforts, not just the results. When children feel capable and supported, responsibility is natural.
5. They lack gratitude
When a child acts ungrateful for not getting what he wants, he often has no right. It can mean that they feel unheard of, disconnected or helpless.
And when children receive toys, sweets or constant rewards instead of emotional connection, opaque their ability to appreciate what really matters.
Advice for parents: Gratitude grows from the connection. Involve your child at significant times, such as helping to cook a meal, make a card or share small joys as a family. When children feel they belong, contribute and valued, the appreciation continues.
I always remind parents to avoid excessive reward for their children. For example, if they help clean the house, instead of giving them money or a sweet gift, I could say: “Thank you for helping. It means a lot to me, and I had fun doing it together.”
The objective is to make those moments significant, instead of something they do for an award.
Meet your child’s emotional needs
What we call spoiled behavior is not about material excess, these are emotional needs. The real connection is not just about spending time together; It is about making your child feel seen, valued and deeply loved.
When parents go from controlling behavior to the development connection, frustrating moments become powerful opportunities to generate trust, security and a lifetime Emotional resilience.
REF RAUDA It is a main voice in conscious raising, a certified coach and the creator of TIED -The innovative connection newspaper for parents and children designed to promote emotional intelligence, self -esteem and lifetime trust. She is widely recognized for her work in the emotional security of children and strengthening the father-son bond. Follow her Instagram.
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