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All parents expect your child to grow and still want a close relationship with them. But nearby links do not occur by accident: they are built through small daily interactions that make a child feel safe, seen and valued.
As Conscious breeding researcher And coach, I have studied more than 200 families. I discovered that the way in which he responds to their children from the day they are born determines how strong their relationship with them when they are adults.
If you want your children to always trust, respect and want to be close to you, regardless of the age you are, start doing these seven things from the beginning.
1. Let them know that your feelings are important
Children should feel safe and comfortable sharing their feelings. But when they hear “you are fine” or “it is not a big problem”, they begin to believe that their feelings are not important and eventually stop sharing them.
Instead of discarding emotions, recognize. To help them feel heard, say things like: “That sounds frustrating” or “I see you are upset.” Emotional security is not about solving problems, it is about making sure they feel understood.
2. Choose the connection on the control
Farming based on fear, punishment or constant correction creates distance. Then, children will learn to hide parts of themselves to avoid disappointing it.
Parents who remain close to their children do not demand obedience. Instead, they prioritize the creation of trust. Simple moments: laugh together, listen without judging, show empathy, help children feel safe.
When children feel emotionally safe, they continue to seek their support until adulthood.
3. Give them a voice in your own life
When parents make all decisions, children begin to think: My actions do not matter anyway, so why have an opinion about something?
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Instead of deciding everything for them, ask “What do you think?” Or “What do you think good?” Let them make small and appropriate decisions for age, such as collecting your clothes, hobbies or what to eat.
4. Hold your mistakes
Parents expect respect for their children, but do not always model it.
Excuse me teaches children that respect goes in both directions. Say: “I reacted exaggeratedly before, and sorry” shows that relationships are not about power, but mutual understanding.
Children raised in homes where responsibility is the norm, does not fear making mistakes. Instead of hiding their struggles, they trust that they can come to you without shame.
5. Make quality time together a daily habit
A strong relationship is not built in a great conversation: it is created through small and consistent moments.
What shapes your link is not only the time they spend together, but how often your child feels prioritized. Sharing a meal, reading at bedtime or simply verifying about your day strengthens the link.
Children who feel valued in a small way, naturally, will remain close to you later in life.
6. That they are themselves without judging
If a child feels constantly compared or judged, begins to turn on to fit. Over time, learn to hide your thoughts, interests and real struggles.
Helping children accept themselves begins with the way they respond to them. Instead of pointing out failures, celebrate your uniqueness. Encourage their interests, even when they do not align with their expectations, let them know that they love them exactly as they are.
When children grow up feeling accepted, they will not have to choose between being themselves and staying close to you.
7. Protect the relationship on being correct
There will be moments when you and your child do not see themselves in sight. If you always press to be “correctly” at the expense of the connection, they will learn that your approval is conditional. They can fulfill in childhood, but they will distance themselves in adulthood.
Instead of demonstrating a point, concentrate on understanding. If your child does not agree with you, resist the impulse to turn them off. Answer with curiosity: “Tell me more about why you feel like this.”
When children know that they can express themselves and still be loved and respected, they become adults who trust the relationship instead of fearing it.
REF RAUDA It is a main voice in conscious raising, a certified coach and the creator of TIED -The innovative connection newspaper for parents and children designed to promote emotional intelligence, self -esteem and lifetime trust. She is widely recognized for her work in the emotional security of children and strengthening the father-son bond. Follow her Instagram.
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