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raise a child In today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world, that’s no small feat. While many parents focus on grades and extracurricular activities, one of the most overlooked skills is emotional intelligence.
This not only helps children excel socially; helps them grow resilientempathetic and successful adults who can face challenges with confidence, foster meaningful relationships and lead fulfilling lives.
So what do parents raising emotionally intelligent children do differently? After years of studying more than 200 relationships between parents and children (and by practicing healthy habits with my own child) I’ve discovered seven powerful strategies these parents adopted early on.
1. They understood the power of silence
They gave their son space to process his feelings and trust his inner voice. When their son was upset, they sat calmly by his side, offering wordless comfort. Accepting silence can help children better navigate and reflect on their emotions.
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2. They named emotions early and often (mostly their own)
By verbally sharing feelings (such as “I’m frustrated” or “I’m happy”), they taught their children emotional awareness and gave them words to express themselves. This helped their children see emotions as normal and share them openly instead of repressing them.
3. They apologized to their son
They showed their son that mistakes are a part of life and that taking responsibility is a strength. Apologizing built trust and showed respect, making your child feel valued. He also modeled empathy and taught them how to repair relationships.
4. They didn’t force ‘please’, ‘thank you’ or ‘I’m sorry’
This may seem unconventional, but they knew that kindness and respect cannot be forced. Instead, they modeled these behaviors, trusting that their child would learn by example. If his son forgot to thank him, the father would say it for him, trusting that the lesson would endure over time.
This takes a lot of courage! But as a parenting coach, I have never told my 6-year-old son to say please or thank you. Now he says it all the time alone, because he hears me say it.
5. They didn’t dismiss small worries
They took their children’s concerns seriously, whether it was a lost toy or a problem with a friend. By validating their feelings, they showed their child that emotions matter. This fostered self-esteem, emotional security, and respect for their experiences.
6. They did not always offer solutions
The best way to teach decision making is to encourage children to make their own decisions. Instead of solving the problems, they asked, “What do you think we should do?” This helped boost critical thinking, confidence and independence.
7. They accepted boredom
They let their son be bored, which helped them feel comfortable with stillness. This developed creativity, self-regulation and problem-solving skills. Your child learned to enjoy his own company and find joy in simple moments, like looking out the car window instead of needing a screen.
How to cultivate your child’s emotional intelligence
- Model the behaviors you want to see: Express your emotions openly, apologize when you make mistakes, and show kindness and empathy in your interactions.
- Validate your child’s feelings, no matter how small they may seem, and give them the space to process those emotions without rushing to correct or dismiss them.
- Encourage problem solving by asking open-ended questions rather than providing all the answers.
- Allow them to experience moments of stillness or boredom to develop creativity and self-regulation.
The most important thing is to focus on building a relationship based on respect and trust, because emotional intelligence begins with feeling safe, valued and understood.
Reem Raouda is a certified conscious parenting coach, mother and creator of TIED — the first and only parent-child connection journal designed to foster emotional intelligence and self-esteem in children. He has transformed hundreds of families through it. courses, training and tools. follow her on instagram.
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