Nikki Glaser tells Stern the jokes she cut from the set of the 2025 Golden Globes

Many expected Nikki Glaser switch to full roasting mode in 2025 Golden Globesbut the comedian is garnering rave reviews from critics and audiences alike for her slightly tamer opening monologue.

However, those fans of Glaser’s wilder jokes should not fear. While she wasn’t too brutal in the room at The Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles on Sunday, Jan. 5, Glaser didn’t hold back as he delivered jokes that didn’t cut it during the SiriusXM appearance. The Howard Stern Show on Monday, January 6.

“The Golden Globes is the only show where you can see the biggest stars and movies and TV united with the same goal – to get out of here tonight Dax Shepard asked them to do his podcast,” Glaser began from a list of jokes she called the “Stern file” she was working on in the writer’s room. “This is the last time you will all be in the same room together. until the Diddy trial.“

Stern then stopped Glaser because he couldn’t believe she wasn’t joking Diddy.

“We had another reference from Diddy that works better and led us to more jokes,” she replied, referring to her joke included in the broadcast; “Zendaya is here Zendaya, you were incredible Dune (2). Oh my god I woke up to all your scenes. You were so good. AND challengersgirl? It was so good. I mean that movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card. “Oh, I’m mad too. The after party will not be good this year. But we have to move on. AND Stanley Tucci freak-off just doesn’t have the same ring. No baby oil this year, just lots of olive.”

In an interview with Stern, Glaser explained why she decided on the CBS version of the joke: “But that (cut) was so funny and it was so nice to be like, ‘I’m going to tell Stern anyway.’ And one you don’t want to do because it’s like you’re accusing the people in the room of being involved and they might turn on you.”

Keep scrolling for more wild jokes Glaser chose not to pull off at the Globes:

A moment for Luigi Mangione

“Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you’d only be the second hottest hit man in America,” Glaser said, before revealing, “And we didn’t because, folks, Luigi was a big deal for a while. and then it kind of faded away and it took a while for people to get it.”

He is coming for the Catholic Church
“I love.” Conclaveand I think the point is for the cardinals to choose a new pope. And I think everyone should see it. It was so warm. Honestly, it will touch you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Conclave is rated PG, bring the kids. They will love it. The Catholic Church will love it. Hot tip, you don’t need an ID to get into the Conclave afterparty,” Glaser said, noting that she felt like “Catholic church pedophilia jokes” were being played.

A twist on an Adrien Brody joke

“Oh look, he’s a two-time holocaust survivor, Adrien Brody” Glaser said during the show, but the original joke was more detailed. “If Adrian Brody could go back in time, he would thank baby Hitler for his career.” When Stern asked if she was heartbroken that she couldn’t deliver the joke, Glaser explained that her assistant didn’t get it.

“My assistant is Gen Z, and she said, ‘I don’t get it.’ And we’re like, ‘Well, there’s this whole thing where you could, if you have a time machine, go back and kill Hitler and prevent the Holocaust.’ And so it looks like we’re going to lose a whole demo of people who don’t know. And then I just said Hitler for nothing,” she said.

The “Just Murders” Stab.

“Only murders in the building he is amazing And I think it’s so cool that the legends like it Steve Martin, Martin Short, Meryl Streep, we’re still at it, putting on some of the best performances of their careers, and it’s so inspiring,” Glaser said. “And it just goes to show you’re never too old to still need money. Guys, please don’t fight Jake Paulplease don’t do it. Why do you keep working so hard? Did you fall for the Hawk Tuah girl’s crypto scheme?”

A self-deprecating joke
“Amy Adams is nominated for her performance in Nocturnal wastewhile I was totally blown away by her performance on ‘Day Slut,’” Glaser, who is known for cracking jokes in her sets. “The category of documentary films is difficult, by the way, Nocturnal waste is what Diddy hears every night before the lights go out.”

Nicole Kidman gag

“The Wild robot is nominated tonight. And I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines,” Glaser said, noting that she wished she could tell the joke, but wasn’t sure of Kidman’s reaction. “If she makes a face, then … (but) I think she’d be fine with it.”

Back to Ben
Affleck seemed to be on the brain. (I almost said) like, ‘Shall I roast or toast? You know what? I don’t roast. I’ll have some toast.” And I just made all these toasts that were baked. Like, ‘Here’s Ben Affleck, I can’t wait to see it which Jennifer next time you try to destroy,” Glaser said. “And I was arguing like, ‘Oh, I didn’t say destroy them.’ I said he tried to destroy them so it wouldn’t be against them. But I thought, ‘That would be crazy.'”

Cocaine joke
“Denzel Washington is here The only thing that has convinced more middle-aged men to pull off an earring than Denzel Washington is cocaine. Kate Winslet it’s a lot like cocaine. She is white. It is always with Leonard DiCaprioand I can’t wait to find her at the after party tonight,” Glaser said.

Bob Dylan’s wildest joke

Glaser shared a another version from Timothée Chalamet/Bob Dylan a joke she told on the show. “To sound like Bob Dylan, Timothée Chalamet took years of vocal lessons, because that’s how long it takes to learn how to smoke 40,000 cigarettes. Timothée was taking guitar, dialect movement and singing lessons to become Bob Dylan, while Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan the old-fashioned way — heroin and autism,” Glaser said as Stern burst into laughter. “Undiagnosed but come on, lots of train songs.”

‘Wicked’ x ‘Queer’
“Daniel Craig is nominated for his performance in Oddwhich is a movie and not just what my uncle chuckie calls it Evil” she joked.

She saved Nica
“Nicolas Cage he’s here tonight looking rested after a night of sleeping in Elvis’ casket,” Glaser said, prompting another laugh from Stern. “Nicolas Cage is here and so is a group of skeletons following him playing Ragtime Jazz.

‘Rust’ roast

“Please know that I know it’s not nice,” Glaser began, before launching into a joke: “Michael Keaton he was so great in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice and Alec BaldwinUnfortunately, he didn’t come back to play the ghost because he was too busy making them.” She added that the joke was “too mean” and she didn’t want to “retraumatize” Baldwin.

A card for politics
“Film Anora is nominated for four awards tonight. Since then, it has been called the most unflinching view of sex work Matt Gaetzpayment history,” Glaser joked.

The last blow
“Squid games is a show where people are starving while ruthlessly competing for the top prize. Oh wait, no, sorry, it’s this show,” she said. “I saw Joker 2 and you know, it reminded me of the first one Joker came out and I was in theaters and I was afraid that someone would film it. And then during joker 2, I really hoped they would.”